A Year in Reflection
Reflecting on my year of healing and the lessons I’ve learned.
As I reflect on my journey with CPTSD (Complex Post Traumatic Stress) and healing, I’ve come to realize something important that I hadn’t fully embraced before: healing requires slowness, patience, and honoring my need to take things slowly. For a long time, I was pushing myself to do everything at the pace of the world—fast, productive, always on the go. But I’ve learned that healing doesn’t fit into a fast-paced world, especially when you’re recovering from deep trauma.
During my experience with NaNoWriMo, I learned the importance of taking my time with my writing. I didn’t have to rush through the process to finish on someone else’s timeline. I gave myself permission to write slowly, to savor each word and each idea, honoring my creative flow rather than forcing it. This lesson wasn’t just for my book; it applied to everything in my life.
I also realized the importance of slowing down in my daily routines. In the past, I would set lofty goals, thinking I needed to do it all in one go. But my healing taught me that doing fewer things each day, but with intention and consistency, is far more powerful. I’ve started to reduce the amount of Quran I recite daily, not out of neglect, but because I need to honor my emotional triggers and pace myself. It’s about taking the time to truly reflect on the verses, without rushing through them to meet an arbitrary target.
I’ve had to let go of the guilt that used to haunt me whenever I wasn’t doing more, achieving more, or pushing myself harder. I’ve learned that healing is not about doing everything at once; it’s about being present with each small step I take, especially when those steps are taken slowly and with love. This process isn’t about reaching some endpoint quickly—it’s about staying consistent and steadfast in my connection with Allah, even if that means doing less each day.
The key for me has been remembering that Allah loves the consistent good deed, no matter how small. This has become my guiding light: being consistent in my healing, in my worship, and in my self-care, not because I’m meeting a worldly standard of achievement, but because I’m doing it for the sake of Allah. I don’t need to push myself to be perfect; I just need to be patient, gentle with myself, and steadfast in my commitment to grow closer to Him.
To anyone else who may be struggling with the urge to do more or feeling guilty for taking things slow, I want to remind you that there is no rush. Our healing is for Allah’s sake, and He values our consistency over our speed. Embrace the slow process, honor your body, your heart, and your mind, and take things one step at a time. Allah is with us, guiding us through every slow, steady move towards healing.
Much love,
Nour Cauveren
That line is worth writing in gold, "Our healing is for Allah's sake."
If there's one framework to have in life and therapy, it's that.
May Allah swt bless you and bestow more upon you in this coming year than you could have thought possible.
Such an important lesson to share, Nour. Thank you for the reminder to slow down.