I have a confession to make!
Sharing a rough draft excerpt of my book: Becoming a Tranquil Soul: 5 Habits to Focus a Distracted Heart
In the name of God, the Most Gracious, the Most Merciful
I am happy, excited and nervous to share a very rough first draft of an excerpt of my book. Please remember this is a rough draft and it an excerpt of the Introduction, therefore not a complete piece of writing.
Excerpt from:
Becoming a Tranquil Soul: 5 Habits to Focus a Distracted Heart
29:64
وَمَا هَـٰذِهِ ٱلْحَيَوٰةُ ٱلدُّنْيَآ إِلَّا لَهْوٌۭ وَلَعِبٌۭ ۚ وَإِنَّ ٱلدَّارَ ٱلْـَٔاخِرَةَ لَهِىَ ٱلْحَيَوَانُ ۚ لَوْ كَانُوا۟ يَعْلَمُونَ ٦٤
This worldly life is no more than play and amusement. But the Hereafter is indeed the real life, if only they knew.
— Dr. Mustafa Khattab, The Clear Quran
Throughout my years as a professional life coach, I had the privilege of coaching hundreds through many phases of their lives. What became apparent as I listened to the stories of my clients, shared in their triumphs, and supported them through their struggles was that the human struggle of this world is real, it is exhausting and we are in desperate spiritual poverty. And yet, despite this, all is not doom and gloom. As we search for ways to slow down, reconnect, and focus, the desire fueling this quest stems from the heart, and its longing is a deeper one of needing, and dare I say, crying out to reconnect with and get closer to Allah.
Some of the statements I heard went something like this:
"I feel like I’m constantly pulled in different directions—work, kids, my husband, my home... How am I supposed to keep up?"
"My children need me, my husband needs me, my friends and parents do too, but I can barely keep myself together. I feel like I’m always falling short."
"I try to balance everything—motherhood, marriage, work, and my faith—but most days I feel like I’m failing. There’s no peace in my marriage, no real joy because I’m too distracted to be truly present."
"Even in my prayers, I’m distracted. I rush through them, knowing I’ve got a hundred things waiting, and I feel guilty for not giving Allah my full attention."
"At the end of the day, I’m exhausted. But I wonder… why is it that despite doing so much, I feel so empty?
If any of these statements resonate with you as if echoing from your own heart, know that you are not alone. Despite our many good intentions to slow down, spend more time reflecting, reading, and contemplating the Quran, taking our time to listen to family, and not rush through salah, we find ourselves stumbling and falling and sometimes even giving up.
The growing demands of modern life often overshadow our intentions, leaving us with a distracted heart that is full of guilt. We try to quell this by binging on anything that will drown out the heart's cries, be it the latest program, shorts on YouTube, or that pint of Ben & Jerry’s Ice Cream we swore we wouldn’t eat when we put it into our shopping cart.
How many times have you been driving the kids to school only to have your mind wander aimlessly, not feeling connected to yourself or your surroundings? Your kids are vying for your attention, and you half listen as they compete for your attention between the to-do list in your head:
“Drop off cookies for the bake sale, did I pick up the dry cleaning, take out the chicken for dinner, and ooh yeah emails, I forgot to reply to…”
“Mama,” one of the kids shouts for the 5th time in frustration, and you respond with a reprimand while feeling guilty for not being a better mother.
The call to Asr prayer was an hour ago and you still haven’t prayed. And by the time you get to the prayer mat, you’re worried about dinner.
Or perhaps you’re the breadwinner in the family and you are distracted by the demands of your career and making that money. You need more of it to keep your family afloat, and even if you are financially secure, you just don’t feel like you have enough, so you pour more and more time into your job, keeping you from quality time with your family. “What if you lose it all? What if…” Your thoughts are plagued by the “what ifs.”
You need some time to think but there never seems to be enough time.
“Don’t they know I just want some peace and quiet when I get home? How am I supposed to make time for reciting the Quran when I feel like I am choking on responsibility?”
Whether you’re a wife, mom, daughter, husband, son, father, teenager, or young adult yourself we are all faced with distractions no matter what stage of life we are in.
And in our modern world, the number one distraction we are facing globally is technology overload.
How many of you have felt like this is you:
"I feel like I can't go more than a few minutes without my phone buzzing. Even when I try to work, it’s like my brain is waiting for the next ping.”
"I keep scrolling through Instagram because I don’t want to miss what everyone else is doing, but it leaves me feeling empty and tired.”
"I don’t know how to function without my phone—it’s my calendar, my work, my entertainment, and my escape."
"Emails keep piling up, and I feel like I have to respond immediately, or I’m falling behind. It’s overwhelming.”
"Every time there’s a new app or platform, I feel like I have to learn it, but it’s exhausting to keep up.”
I have a confession to make. I feel the same way you do. I find focusing to be a challenge and I am constantly battling against my own self to regain control over my thoughts. Focus has become something of a distant memory, and yet I am writing a book about how to focus a distracted heart. I was afraid to be honest and transparent with you, but I realized that to give this book justice and to truly do it for the sake of Allah, I needed to get real with you. We are in this struggle together. Throughout the years, as I have struggled with my own distractions, I have developed practical tools to help me, and the more I shared these tools with my clients, the more I began to realize the need to share them with the wider world.
In my striving, I have refined techniques, experimented with what works and what does not work, and struggled, and now I am ready to share the lessons I have learned with you to hopefully make your journey towards becoming a tranquil soul easier, inshaaAllah.
The first thing that one must do in this journey is admit the state of our hearts.
And the state of my heart is distracted.
What about yours?
Too be continue….InshaaAllah.
Much Love,
Nour Cauveren
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Nour!!! This is fantastic and I can't wait to read more. I can already relate so much to what you wrote. Thank you for sharing this with the world ~ keep going!