Letting go is hard!

Reflections on Loss and Letting Go

Life is a tapestry woven with moments of joy and sorrow, gains and losses. As Muslims, we are called to navigate these experiences with faith and trust in Allah’s divine wisdom. Over the years, I have encountered significant losses that have profoundly shaped my understanding of life and the concept of letting go.

Losing my parents at a young age left an indelible mark on my heart. It was a loss that seemed insurmountable at the time, casting a shadow over my a significant part of my life.

Through these experiences, I have come to realize the distinction between losing something or someone and letting go. Allah, in His infinite wisdom, allows us to experience loss, not as a means to punish us, but as an opportunity to grow, to find strength, and to draw closer to Him. Whether it is the loss of a cherished family member, a beloved possession, or a cherished friendship, every loss carries with it a lesson and an opportunity for spiritual growth.

Even the smallest losses can teach us significant lessons. Recently, I lost my favorite double-insulated coffee glasses, one breaking after the other. While this might seem trivial in comparison to the loss of loved ones, it served as a reminder of the transient nature of worldly possessions and the importance of not becoming too attached to material things.

In moments of loss, it is essential to submit to the Qadr (divine decree) of Allah. As Muslims, we are taught to trust in Allah’s plan and to seek the wisdom and goodness in every situation, no matter how painful it may be.

The Qur'an reminds us:

2:155

وَلَنَبْلُوَنَّكُم بِشَىْءٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْخَوْفِ وَٱلْجُوعِ وَنَقْصٍۢ مِّنَ ٱلْأَمْوَٰلِ وَٱلْأَنفُسِ وَٱلثَّمَرَٰتِ ۗ وَبَشِّرِ ٱلصَّـٰبِرِينَ ١٥٥

We will certainly test you with a touch of fear and famine and loss of property, life, and crops. Give good news to those who patiently endure—

2:156

ٱلَّذِينَ إِذَآ أَصَـٰبَتْهُم مُّصِيبَةٌۭ قَالُوٓا۟ إِنَّا لِلَّهِ وَإِنَّآ إِلَيْهِ رَٰجِعُونَ ١٥٦

who say, when struck by a disaster, “Surely to Allah we belong and to Him we will ˹all˺ return.”

These ayat teaches us that loss is a part of life’s trials, and our response should be one of patience and trust in Allah.

The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) also said:

Wondrous is the affair of the believer, for there is good for him in every matter, and this is not the case with anyone except the believer. If he is happy, then he thanks Allah, and thus there is good for him; and if he is harmed, then he shows patience, and thus there is good for him." (Sahih Muslim)

By accepting loss as a part of Allah’s divine plan and searching for the good in it, we can transform our sorrow into a source of spiritual growth and strength. When we embrace loss from the perspective that our Lord has chosen something good for us, it becomes easier to submit to His will and find salam (peace)in our hearts.

I invite you to reflect on your own experiences with loss.

Coaching Question for Reflection

What is one way you can reframe a recent loss to see the potential good and wisdom that Allah might be offering you through it?

Engage with this question in your personal journal or share your thoughts with a close friend or family member. Remember, every loss carries within it the seed of a lesson and an opportunity to grow closer to Allah.

May Allah grant us patience and strength in times of loss and help us to always see the goodness in His divine plan. Ameen.

Much love 💕 and letting go!

Nour Cauveren