This Life is Not About You! It's About Serving Your Lord with Excellence
Lesson #7 Things I learned when I was dying
Bismillah
One of the lessons that became so clear to me during my illness was something I had read in Mohammed Faris' book, "The Barakah Effect," specifically in a chapter entitled Life Isn't About You, It's About Serving Your Lord With Excellence.I had read this chapter before I was hospitalized, but it only truly sank in when I was surrounded by illness, by pain, and by the quiet reality that life can turn upside down at any moment.
When you are sick, it can become very easy for life to revolve only around yourself — your pain, your healing, your comfort. Yet illness also strips you of the illusion of control. It shows you, especially when you see people suffering more severely around you, that life is not about you. It is about Allah, about serving Him, worshipping Him, and embodying excellence (ihsan) in whatever capacity He gives you.
Growing up in a Western society, I was deeply ingrained with individualism. It’s the silent narrative: you are the center of your own world. Even the self-help industry is designed around making everything about "your journey," "your dreams," "your success." And while there's some benefit in striving for self-development, I realized painfully that this mindset often pushes Allah to the periphery. Healing from this isn't a one-time realization; it is a daily struggle, an ongoing process of peeling away the layers of self-centeredness and replacing them with true servitude.
Allah says in the Qur'an: "And I did not create the jinn and mankind except to worship Me." (Surah Adh-Dhariyat 51:56).
When I sat alone in the hospital corridors, I reflected deeply on this. What is my purpose if not to serve Allah first? Why am I clinging so tightly to comforts, accolades, or conveniences that may actually pull me away from Him? One of the most heartbreaking observations I made was seeing how many patients had no visitors. Where were their families? Their friends? Their communities? I couldn't help but wonder: where is our ummah? Where is the fabric of love, mercy, and service that is supposed to weave us together?
The moment I was able to walk again, I made it a personal mission to visit some of the lonely patients — even if it was just a smile, a kind word, or a dua whispered silently for them. This wasn’t about being a "good person" for the sake of it. It was about recognizing that Allah had given me the strength in that moment not for me, but for me to serve others for His sake. Any significance, any strength, any opportunity I have is purely from Him.
Muhammad Faris captures this reality perfectly when he says:
"When we acknowledge that we are slaves of Allah, rather than being the masters of our own destiny as some self-help books suggest, we understand that every experience we have in life is a test from our Creator. He wants to see how we respond, and if we recognize His presence during both good and bad times." From the Book : The Barakah Effect
This God-centered living is not comfortable. It means discomfort. It means sacrifice. It means being pleased with the home you have, even if it's smaller than your dreams. It means embracing patience when your health is shattered. It means showing up for your family when you feel drained. It means accepting that every hardship is not a punishment, but an invitation to get closer to Allah.
We live in an era obsessed with comfort. But in the pursuit of "comfort first," we see the breakdown of families, communities, and inner peace. Studies show that rates of anxiety, loneliness, and depression are skyrocketing in individualistic societies. One statistic from the U.S. Census Bureau notes that nearly one in three adults over 45 now identifies as chronically lonely. Meanwhile, a Harvard study reported that strong community ties are one of the greatest predictors of long-term happiness and health — something our deen emphasized over 1400 years ago. These studies show the loss of Barakah in society which translates to a loss of Barakah in our lives.
Living for Allah, with Allah at the center, reorganizes everything. It reorganizes your mornings, your intentions, your work, your struggles. Every test becomes an opportunity. Every success becomes a cause for gratitude, not pride. Every moment becomes precious, because it is a moment to seek Him.
For me personally, the greatest shift happened when I stopped fighting my calamity. When I stopped worrying about my broken health and instead became genuinely pleased with Allah’s decree, a quiet, extraordinary barakah entered my life. Healing, even in small ways, began. A new clarity and softness in my heart began. I could feel it: the tranquility that only comes from surrendering completely to Allah.
This is not a call for perfection. It’s an invitation to reposition your heart. To ask yourself daily: am I making this about me, or am I making this about serving Allah with excellence?
Reflective prompts:
In what areas of my life am I still clinging to "me-centered" thinking?
How can I serve someone else today purely for the sake of Allah?
What comforts am I willing to give up in order to live more sincerely for Allah?
How can I realign my goals, struggles, and successes around Allah’s pleasure?
May Allah grant us hearts that live for Him, hands that serve for Him, and souls that find ultimate peace with Him. Ameen.
Much love,
Nour Cauveren