What do you need to let go of?
Letting go of that which holds us back opens the doors to that which will cause it to grow.
Letting Go of My Fear of Success
There comes a moment in each of our lives when we realize that the patterns we carry, even unknowingly, are no longer serving us. For me, this moment of realization came when I faced my fear of success, specifically the deep-rooted anxiety I had about planning for it. This fear was born from a pivotal moment in my teenage years—a moment that should have been one of celebration and pride, yet transformed into a into my longstanding struggle with consistency, planning and just doing what I love!
I still remember that semester like it was yesterday. I had worked hard, mapped out a study plan, and followed it through with discipline. As a result, I achieved perfect scores in all my classes. This was a huge accomplishment for me, one I felt so proud of. That was the first time I had meticulously planned out my studies, and it worked beautifully. I felt awesome!
However, when I shared my excitement with a family member—someone who, with the best of intentions, wanted to prepare me for life’s challenges—their response shattered my celebration. And shattered my fragile 15 year old heart ❤️.
“Don’t be happy with what you achieved,” they said. “Always strive for more. If you enjoy your success, you’re a loser.”
Their words, though meant to fuel my ambition, broke something profound in me. When at the end of that school year it was announced to me and my entire class at the same time I was valadictorian my classmates erupted in cheers, and I remember the boy to my right saying to me, “Why aren’t you happy?”
That question would haunt me, and years later I realized that the pattern of holding myself back had been born on that day when my family member crushed my success and subconsciously I decided that success equaled being a loser.
The message I internalized was this: if I celebrated my success, it meant I wasn’t good enough, and if I took pride in my planning, I was setting myself up to fail.
From that point on, success became a double-edged sword for me. It felt safer to avoid planning and avoid celebrating, lest I become “complacent” or “a loser.” This mindset followed me for years, affecting my ability to set goals, stick to them, and find joy in my achievements.
Reclaiming Success with a New Definition of Consistency
Recently, with the encouragement of a dear friend, I decided it was time to face this fear head-on. In a book club discussion, Mina, a close friend and the insightful voice behind Educate a Muslim Child, asked me what “consistency” truly meant to me. The answer surprised me. I realized that I actually do have consistency, but selectively. I am steadfast in my recitation of the Qur’an and diligent in my salah, yet I wasn’t consistent in my efforts to improve my recitation or nurture my khushu’ (focus and humility) in prayer.
Reflecting on this, I saw that my old definition of consistency was rigid and limited—it was about doing something repetitively but without meaningful purpose. So, I created a new definition for myself: Consistency is sticking to a plan that my heart and head know will lead me to long-term success and allow me to feel good about myself. It’s not just about doing something habitually, but about being aligned with what’s best for my soul and setting goals that bring true fulfilment
A Qur’anic Perspective on Success and Planning
Islam, our perfect and complete deen (religion) beautifully emphasizes planning and striving for excellence, while keeping our reliance on Allah at the core of our efforts. Allah says in Surah Al-Ankabut (29:69) (click the video to listen):
This ayah reassures us that our efforts do not go unnoticed, and that Allah, in His infinite mercy, guides those who put forth sincere effort. It encourages us to commit fully to our plans, knowing that our endeavors, when aligned with Allah’s guidance, lead us toward success that’s meaningful and grounded.
Moreover, the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) taught us to seek strength from Allah, to be steadfast, and not to rely on our efforts alone. In a powerful hadith, he said:
“The strong believer is better and more beloved to Allah than the weak believer, while there is good in both. Be eager for what benefits you, seek help from Allah, and do not feel helpless” (Sahih Muslim).
This hadith reminds us of the value of strength, resilience, and trust in Allah. True strength lies not just in our ability to perform consistently, but in our reliance on Allah to see our efforts through, without fear of celebrating or acknowledging our growth.
Letting Go of Fear and Embracing Success as an Act of Worship
In this journey of letting go, I’m learning that success doesn’t diminish my reliance on Allah, nor does it define my worth. Instead, success, when sought with a pure heart, can be an act of worship. Planning for success, working toward goals, and celebrating achievements become acts of gratitude to Allah, affirming the blessings He has placed in my life.
Each day, as I work toward a healthier, more fulfilling definition of success and consistency, I feel a renewed sense of purpose. My commitment to Allah and to myself deepens as I reframe success not as something to fear, but as an opportunity to grow closer to Him, embracing His guidance in my life.
So now, I choose to let go of that old fear. I embrace the understanding that consistency and success are not just about achieving; they’re about aligning with what is best for my soul, being thankful for the journey, and keeping my gaze on Allah’s pleasure.
Reflective Question for You
What beliefs or past experiences might be holding you back from embracing the success Allah has planned for you?
How can you reshape these beliefs to help you pursue your goals with courage, gratitude, and trust in Allah’s guidance?
Much Love,
Nour Cauveren
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