Why Decluttering Your Mind Is Harder Than Your Home—And What to Do About It
PAUSE Framework – Week 3: Purify the Mind
﷽
Before we begin, take a moment to pause. Breathe. Set your intention for the sake of Allah.
This week, we’re not adding more noise or doing more for the sake of doing. We’re slowing down. We’re clearing space where few people ever look: inside the mind.
Remember this, a Nour original tagline as you progress this week:
The closer you’re to your authentic self, the closer you’ll be to your Rabb.
But first, a check-in.
If you've been walking through the PAUSE journey with us, you've already begun to clear your physical environment and your digital world. But real transformation isn’t linear. It isn’t always tidy. It often looks like things getting messier before they get clearer.
Just ask Mayya.
She began strong. Week 1, she decluttered the hallway bookshelf. She donated clothes she hadn’t touched in years. She whispered dhikr while wiping down old baseboards.
But instead of peace, what followed was a strange discomfort.
“I thought once I cleaned it all, I’d feel calm,” she whispered, “but it just got louder in my head.”
Her eyes kept drifting to the bookshelf filled with unfinished Islamic books. Guilt crept in. Her toddler’s toys crept back out. The chaos returned. But now she noticed it more.
But Week 2 came with harder truths. Digital detoxing sounded simple, and wanted. But when she tried logging off of Instagram she felt this strange unease, as if she were missing out on something. Somehow the world would make monumental discoveries and she wouldn’t be in on the loop. Naturally she understood that this was utter nonsense, but that strange discomfort—the fear of missing out—was hard to control.
Mayya’s digital detox lasted two days. How long did yours last?
By the third day, she had to unfollow a friend who always posted curated snapshots of her spotless home, her smiling children, her perfect Islamic routines.
Mayya hesitated. Compared. Clicked. Scrolled.
And that was the trigger, boom, just like that she was back to doomscrolling, watching influencers share their serene morning routines and pristine prayer spaces. A reel flashed across her screen:
“This is how I stay consistent with Qur’an every single day!”
#NoExcuses #SalahGoals
And just like that, Mayya’s heart whispered:
“You’ll never get there.”
And then she cried.
“I thought cleaning the house would calm me,” she said. “I thought less screen time would fix my attention.”
Instead, it all stirred something deeper.
This is normal.
And here’s the truth:
This discomfort is not failure. It’s the beginning of real change.
In fact, it’s part of purifying our hearts.
Sometimes when we purify our surroundings, what rises to the surface are the very thoughts, habits, and emotional patterns that were buried underneath the clutter.
It means the work is working.
It means your heart is finally ready for the next step.
So pause again.
Renew your intention.
Why are you doing this? Not to perfect your mind, but to return it to peace. To clear space for the remembrance of Allah. To think clearly again. To become a better caretaker of the thoughts you choose to carry.
Let’s step into the third part of “Purify”: the inner world.
The Ritual: Decluttering the Mind
When you first begin to purify, the external dust settles, and the internal dust rises. The noise that was always there becomes louder only because you're finally quiet enough to hear it.
This is what Imam al-Ghazali described as the first unveiling, the moment when one begins to truly observe the self.
“The first step in self-knowledge,” he wrote, “is silence.”
So this week, we go inward.
We don’t fight the mind. We sit with it, gently, intentionally, in remembrance.cThis is where the work gets tender. You’re not just learning a ritual. You’re creating a safe place within yourself, one you’ll return to again and again.
Let’s walk through it together. With Mayya.
Week 3: Purify the Mind
إِنَّ فِى ذَٰلِكَ لَذِكْرَىٰ لِمَن كَانَ لَهُۥ قَلْبٌ أَوْ أَلْقَى ٱلسَّمْعَ وَهُوَ شَهِيدٌۭ ٣٧
Surely in this is a reminder for whoever has a ˹mindful˺ heart and lends an attentive ear.
The mind can become cluttered like a messy attic—full of echoing fears, unprocessed thoughts, and years of busyness. In fact, long ago when I first started doing my inner work I likened it to spring cleaning, clearing out everything (emotions, triggers) all piled up in the attic of our minds and slowly laying it all bare to decide what to discard, what to keep, how to organize it and how to find new ways of coping. In fact, this is the PAUSE Framework in a nutshell.
The beauty is that Allah has already, through the Qur’an and Sunnah, taught us how to do this. The PAUSE framework that I have developed is simply a humble expression of how to make muhasabah (self-accountability via self-reflection) practical and easier to manage in this world filled with distractions, inshaaAllah.
Allah reminds us in the above quoted ayah that clarity belongs to the heart that listens with presence.
The Prophet ﷺ taught us this presence.
He would sit in quiet reflection, especially at night. He would repeat short dhikr slowly, mindfully. His du’as were not rushed, but weighted with intentional pauses, silences, tears.
Modern neuroscience confirms it:
When we practice mindful silence or gratitude reflection, we activate the default mode network of the brain, responsible for insight, memory processing, and self-awareness. Over time, this reduces anxiety and improves clarity.
So we begin, as Imam al-Ghazali did, in stillness, with his presence practice.
The Ghazali Stillness Practice of Being Present
Inspired by Imam al-Ghazali, who would sit in silence to reconnect with his soul.
What it looks like for Mayya:
On Day 1, Mayya tried something different.
She sat on her prayer mat, no Qur’an, no dhikr beads, no phone.
Her toddler was finally down for a nap. A full 43 minutes of silence—maybe. But with this practice all she needed was 3 minutes to be present and 2 minutes to reflect. We don’t need lots of time to be present in the moment. With constant practice and making it part of our lifestyle we can find it even in the middle of a busy train station, with commuters rushing off to work and noise already in the air. Because it is about going within. But it needs dedication, and practice, practice, practice.
Mayya at first found it difficult. She was fighting the urge to clean. She wanted to answer her client’s WhatsApp. But she remembered: “Pause first.”
Just three minutes of silence.
She allowed her mind to gently whisper an inaudible “Alhamdulillah.”
Again.
And again.
Until it became a rhythm. A river.
“I remembered my daughter’s hug last night,” she later journaled.
“My husband covering me with a blanket when I fell asleep on the couch. The barakah in my breath. My sight. My second chance after my illness.”
She felt peace rise, not because her life was different, but because her perception was purified. “Alhamdulillah.”
At first, it felt mechanical. Then a memory flickered in. Her teen daughter laughing at dinner. Then another. The sun warming the wall by the dining table. Then another. Her mother’s voice reciting Qur’an.
The words slowed. The tension in her jaw melted. The silence filled with gratitude instead of thoughts.
She opened her eyes and realized: “I didn’t fix anything. But I remembered what was never broken.”
This Week’s Practice: The Mind Decluttering Ritual
Step 1: Find Your Anchor Time
Spiritual practices bloom when they’re planted in a real moment of your day.
How Mayya found hers:
After trying it at night and being interrupted twice, Mayya realized: Her stillness wasn’t in the quiet of bedtime, it was the 12 minutes after she buckled her toddler into the stroller and before they reached the playground.
That’s where she claimed her silence.
“After I zip his coat, I’ll walk in quiet for three minutes and say Alhamdulillah.”
No mat. No incense. No perfection.
Just presence.
Try it like this:
What pocket of your day already exists? A car ride? After fajr? While your soup simmers?
Attach the practice gently to it.
Step 2: Voice or Write What You Feel
Try it like this:
Sit for 3 quiet minutes—just you and your breath
Whisper “Alhamdulillah” in your mind, and feel it
Let your heart name whatever rises: a warmth, a hug, a relief, a provision
Stay until the dhikr becomes less a word, more a feeling
Tiny Habits anchor: “After I make tea, I’ll sit for 3 minutes and say Alhamdulillah.”
Step 3: Speak it or write it! But Just Voice it
This isn’t journaling to be productive. This is a private exhale. A release. A place to meet Allah where you are.
What it looked like for Mayya:
She pulled out her notebook, her “du’a journal” that was mostly blank. Stillness had opened her heart. Now, she needed to let something out.
She wrote:
“I feel grateful to Allah for…
...the coffee I drank slowly.
...the roof that doesn’t leak.
...the client who reminded me to say Alhamdulillah today.”
The words weren’t eloquent. But by the time she closed the notebook, she felt lighter.
“That weight I carried all morning? It didn’t need a solution. It needed surrender.”
On days when she was doing the practice after zipping up her coat she would quickly make a voice memo! And after tweaking, she found this worked best for her because she felt calm the rest of the day and it was easier to remember Allah ﷻ.
Try it like this:
Use your phone on silent, open a voice memo: Say: “I feel grateful to Allah for…” and let the words come
Or write it by hand, no editing, no correcting
Let your heart say what it needs to. You’re not reporting to anyone. You’re remembering.
Not because you “should,” but because you’re invited to.
You’re not doing this to master your thoughts. You’re doing this to return your heart to Allah.
Why It Matters
This isn’t about productivity. It’s about returning to the state Allah created you in: Sound-hearted, present, and aware. The Qur’an links heedlessness to the heart:
۞ أَلَمْ يَأْنِ لِلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ أَن تَخْشَعَ قُلُوبُهُمْ لِذِكْرِ ٱللَّهِ وَمَا نَزَلَ مِنَ ٱلْحَقِّ وَلَا يَكُونُوا۟ كَٱلَّذِينَ أُوتُوا۟ ٱلْكِتَـٰبَ مِن قَبْلُ فَطَالَ عَلَيْهِمُ ٱلْأَمَدُ فَقَسَتْ قُلُوبُهُمْ ۖ وَكَثِيرٌۭ مِّنْهُمْ فَـٰسِقُونَ ١٦
Has the time not yet come for believers’ hearts to be humbled at the remembrance of Allah and what has been revealed of the truth, and not be like those given the Scripture before—˹those˺ who were spoiled for so long that their hearts became hardened. And many of them are ˹still˺ rebellious.
Your 7 Day Challenge:
This week, I invite you to try this for 7 days.
Let it be imperfect. Let it be brief. But let it be real. And I want to hear from you. Take a moment to check in with me. I’d love to hear from you.
What’s rising to the surface for you?
What did you struggle with in Week 1 or 2?
What’s one unexpected emotion that came up?
Have you found your quiet space?
How did this week's practice feel?
And your journey is part of mine too.
Quick Recap: This Week’s Mind Decluttering Ritual
Step 1: Anchor It
Find a moment in your day that already exists, for example, after Fajr, or during a quiet walk. Attach your stillness practice there.
Step 2: Sit in Silence
Just 3 minutes. Breathe. Whisper Alhamdulillah with feeling in your mind, not from your lips. Let your heart notice what rises.
Step 3: Voice or Write It
Say or write: “I feel grateful to Allah for…”
Don’t overthink it. Let it be raw, real, and unedited.
And remember:
This isn’t about doing it perfectly.
It’s about pausing long enough to remember.
The goal isn’t to master your thoughts, but to return your heart to Allah.
Let it be imperfect.
Let it be brief.
But let it be sincere.
Much love,
Nour Cauveren
this is beautiful - thank youuuu
What a beautiful and important practice you are guiding us through. Thank you!