My Hijab Fiasco
A lesson is the meaning of self love ❤️
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Okay, deep breaths. First day I decided to wear the hijab I wanted to do it right. No sweat, right? YouTube's got my back. Ten minutes into a tutorial titled "Effortless Elegance: The Perfect Hijab Wrap" and I'm already questioning my life choices.
This woman's fingers fly across the silky fabric, creating these intricate folds that somehow effortlessly stay put. Meanwhile, mine resemble those of a toddler trying to wrap an Eid gift. The fabric keeps escaping, billowing dramatically around my head refusing to stay put!!! Twenty pins and that thing still is lopsided!
"Okay," I mutter, "pinch at the crown." I do, but the fabric rebels, launching a sneak attack on my left ear. Fantastic. Now I look like a pirate with a serious aversion to symmetry.
The tutorial lady keeps chirping about "underneath the chin," but apparently, "underneath my chin" is a geographical location lost to cartographers for centuries. My attempts to secure it there only result in a look that screams hijab newbie who just doesn’t get it!
Frustration mounts. Pins, the supposed secret weapon, are now waging a personal war against me. There's one precariously clinging to my eyebrow, another has migrated south and is currently attached (painfully) to my upper lip. And another one that nearly took out my right eye! I look like a human pincushion.
Just as I'm about to declare defeat and wear a grocery bag on my head, inspiration strikes. I grab a sparkly hair clip, the kind usually reserved for taming unruly ponytails. With a desperate prayer, I secure the rogue fabric under my chin. It's...not perfect. But it is good enough!
Taking a shaky breath, I peek in the mirror. My reflection stares back, a slightly lopsided grin plastered across her face. Maybe it's not "effortless elegance," but hey, at least I doing something Allah loves.
Loving What Allah Loves
The purpose of my choosing to wear the hijab is to obey Allah swt and do something He loves. A huge part of self care is building a relationship with our Creator. How can I cream myself down and take bubble baths without first establishing a solid relationship with the One providing the bubbles for my bath?
This Ramadan as I read the Quran one theme kept popping out at me. Allah loves… Allah does not love…
The Quran is clear and Allah has made it no mystery to earn His Pleasure by doing what He loves and avoiding what He does not love.
I began to realize that self love must begin with love for the Source of all love, Allah!
I find the idea of loving other than Allah frightening because it is so easy. It’s easy to love your own beauty more than you love Allah or love what people say more and use it as an excuse to not obey Allah. Trust me I have been there. But the more I build a meaningful relationship with Allah’s Book, the more I realize the need to purify my heart and love only Allah and from the love of my Creator, allow other love to flow always loving Allah first and foremost. By only loving Allah, and what Allah loves, I mean that you always chose Allah.
In the Quran Allah tells us:
وَمِنَ ٱلنَّاسِ مَن يَتَّخِذُ مِن دُونِ ٱللَّهِ أَندَادًۭا يُحِبُّونَهُمْ كَحُبِّ ٱللَّهِ ۖ وَٱلَّذِينَ ءَامَنُوٓا۟ أَشَدُّ حُبًّۭا لِّلَّهِ ۗ وَلَوْ يَرَى ٱلَّذِينَ ظَلَمُوٓا۟ إِذْ يَرَوْنَ ٱلْعَذَابَ أَنَّ ٱلْقُوَّةَ لِلَّهِجَمِيعًۭا وَأَنَّ ٱللَّهَ شَدِيدُ ٱلْعَذَابِ ١٦٥
Still there are some who take others as Allah’s equal—they love them as they should love Allah—but the ˹true˺ believers love Allah even more. If only the wrongdoers could see the ˹horrible˺ punishment ˹awaiting them˺, they would certainly realize that all power belongs to Allah and that Allah is indeed severe in punishment.
Self love it a hot topic for sure and we all struggle to love ourselves and care for ourselves more. But have you considered that by shifting your focus to loving Allah more, then self love will be easier? Why? Because you build it on the foundation of loving and caring for yourself for the sake of Allah.
Coaching Question:
That shift in thinking shifted many things for me and laid out the path to greater self care. I’ll continue on the topic over the next few newsletters, but for today I want to leave you with this coaching question:
How can you strengthen your love for Allah swt in your daily life? Make a list of easy to action practices that can bring you closer to Allah.
For example, listen to the Quran in English on the go with the amazing The Clear Quran app featured in joyful picks below.
As you listen pay close attention to what pops out at you and take a moment to contemplate the ayah and how you can implement it into your daily life.
Or maybe you’d like to cultivate more gratitude. You can keep a gratitude journal or join my friend Julie’s daily gratitude telegram group! The sisters are pretty consistent and it is a WOMEN ONLY group! Click here to join!
Remember we are all journeying back to Allah and it is about ensuring we on a daily basis take those consistent steps towards Allah, in order that our last deed will be our best and most pleasing to Allah InShaaAllah.
Thank you for voting last week on the new format which is lighter and aimed at making your Sundays more serene and full of joy and love ❤️ for all things Allah loves InShaaAllah.
Keep me in your duas.
May allah grant you all ease in doing what He loves and obstaining from what He does not love Ameen
Much love,
Nour Cauveren
I have been absolutely in love with The Clear Quran app. It’s a dramatized translation of the Quran and it is helping me to get closer to the Quran. You can check out their free version which includes Surah Al Fatihah, Surah Al Baqarah, Surah Al Kahf, Surah Mulk, and the three Quls or opt for the paid version with the complete audiobook. Check out the video below for a sneak peek!