What’s Your Food Story?
This is mine ! Part 1
We need food to survive! We need it to be healthy and yet our relationship with food can be toxic and comforting all rolled into one. How often have you pondered the subtle yet profound impact our childhood experiences have on our present relationship with food?
Last year during a coaching session with my then coach Hajar we unraveled my own food story—a journey that has been both filled with ah ha moments and deeply emotional moments.
What is My Food Story?
Reflecting on my past, I realized that my relationship with food was deeply rooted in my childhood memories. Each bite of candy carried the same comforting warmth I felt when Mama allowed us to indulge in sweets. Mama’s regulation of candy made it something special and comforting, reminiscent of her love and care. Daddy’s joyful chant of “I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream” encapsulated pure joy, a tradition that brought us closer together.
Yet, not all memories were as sweet. Granny’s constant complaints, “Are you eating again?” instilled in me feelings of disappointment and disapproval. These experiences left a lasting imprint, leading to guilt and shame whenever I indulged in the foods I love, like the healthy kimchi.
During my session, Hajar gently guided me through these memories, helping me understand that the values I now associate with food are profoundly intertwined with my core beliefs: the Love of Allah, love of self, and enjoyment. She encouraged me to journal about my food story, a practice that has brought clarity and understanding to my eating habits and emotional triggers.
Hajar shared a powerful exercise to combat self-sabotage, which often arises when we start seeing positive changes in our lives. Here’s a simple yet effective strategy she recommended:
When this happens...(something good happens)
Instead of... (what you usually do)
I will... (what you now want to do)
Including value words that resonate with you can reinforce this new behavior. This practice can help us align our actions with our true values, creating a harmonious relationship with food and self.
Reflecting on this journey, I am reminded of the Quranic ayah:
7:31
۞ يَـٰبَنِىٓ ءَادَمَ خُذُوا۟ زِينَتَكُمْ عِندَ كُلِّ مَسْجِدٍۢ وَكُلُوا۟ وَٱشْرَبُوا۟ وَلَا تُسْرِفُوٓا۟ ۚ إِنَّهُۥ لَا يُحِبُّ ٱلْمُسْرِفِينَ ٣١
O Children of Adam! Dress properly whenever you are at worship. Eat and drink, but do not waste. Surely He does not like the wasteful.
This ayah encourages us to enjoy Allah’s blessings mindfully and in moderation, a lesson that resonates deeply with my newfound understanding of my food story.
Coaching Question:
What memories or emotions do you associate with the foods you love, and how do they shape your current eating habits?
I invite you to reflect on this question and join me next week for part 2, as we continue this journey of self-discovery and healing.
This week, I am excited to share two books by Dr. Mary Claire Haver, board-certified OB/GYN, that have been incredibly insightful:
The Galveston Diet, it’s a comprehensive guide that offers a science-based approach to healthy eating, tailored specifically for women.
The New Menopause: An empowering resource for women of all ages, providing valuable insights into navigating menopause with grace and confidence. Even if your not in menopause it’s important to learn about your health to understand the changes our bodies eventually will go through InShaaAllah because the choices you make today will impact your future health.
Until next week, may Allah bless you with strength and clarity on your journey, Ameen.
Much love 💕,
Nour
Great post. The books seem like a good read for guys too, to know what the women in our lives are going through and how best to be there for them.
So many emotions tied to food! Logically, I know my body needs healthy food in moderate amounts but often, I've used food to sooth rather than sustain. It's something I'm still working on as an emotional eater, over-eater, and at times binge eater. Thank you for sharing this and the coaching questions.